Wile7 Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 ....a long time ago in a land full of italian exotica and lap dancing clubs there lived a man by the name of.... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debert Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 ....a long time ago in a land full of italian exotica and lap dancing clubs there lived a man by the name of.... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams You've answered your own question Wile *arrowright*Get a Mosaic Poster of YOUR car and help Nuke the Leuk here *arrowright*Pictures here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Dave was a chronic daydreamer, he was unable to be put to worthwhile employ due to......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 24, 2006 Author Share Posted July 24, 2006 .....pie manufacturing business occupying so much of his time ( ). One day, the wee welshman decided to........ > Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debert Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 ..... go for a walk in the forest, with dean, his *favourite* pet sheep, and ...... *arrowright*Get a Mosaic Poster of YOUR car and help Nuke the Leuk here *arrowright*Pictures here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hibster. Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 make lamb chops with a cleaver he always kept down the front of his wrestler* shorts ........... *like boxer shorts but they involve more cheating and playing up to the audience Supercheese R250 Caterham pictures here 😬 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 Sadly (or happily if you are a vegitarian), the little lamb ran away and so dave the Pie Man needed to find something else to put in his pies. He thought long and hard and then suddenly he had an idea; he would use.......... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 his 106 y/o neighbour called Minie - thats right they would be Min's pies *eek* Dave slid his cleaver back down his shorts...... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Or "Mince Spies" who were looking out for bearded people impersonating Gary Glitter at the local Boy Scouts' Jambouree! Having the dents knocked out of the MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 Norm got angry at this association and decided to tw@t Ash over the head with HM's frying pan...... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boonie Hound Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 He broke the silence...apologised and opened a window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 25, 2006 Author Share Posted July 25, 2006 And in climbed Mr Bailey wearing a false beard and long hair wishing so much that he could be like wile7. Sadly, because Ash was such a total wet blanket wimpy skinny pooftah, it was not to be. So, Ash gave in and was chopped up into little bits for the pies......and the 'Bailey Burger' was born......... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 sadly the Bailey burger was not an overnight sales success, so Pieman Dave enlisted the help of Stinky Dave and his musical underpants as his new sales and marketing team. Things started...... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 to go wrong when Stinky Dave forgot the vindaloo he'd eaten last night. Puckering his cheeks for a right ripe ripper he let go, followed through and thanked God he had his trousers tucked in his socks. His mum had told him to do that to stop rats running up his bell-bottoms and biting his knackers. This was the only day he'd followed her advice! Now with ankles swelling in the rancid soup-like fluid he waddled down Usk high street wondering where to off-load... Having the dents knocked out of the MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Ash was such a total wet blanket wimpy skinny pooftah OI......... WILE!!!! I'm not feckin' skinny, ya tssopot *mad* Having the dents knocked out of the MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 back to the tale - ...eventually he decided not to off-load and he thought that it might actually become a talking point and help his sales banter. His first call was the opticians shop in the high street, not an obvious target for selling burgers but Stinky was very........ Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 .......poorly educated and thought the letters "O P T I C I A N" spelt "M A S S A G E". Being a Welsh lad he'd associated having his end away with eating pies, something that had caused some upset to his wife. He stumbled over the step into Boots the Opticians, one of his trouser legs came untucked and.... Having the dents knocked out of the MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 W H O O S H . He went of like a balloon. Propelled by the force of his own excrement, spraying mess everywhere. After 2 minutes he eventually came to rest....... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Oxbiggar Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 in Cinderford, where the stench blended with that from the abattoir, allowing Stinky Dave to go undetected as he lay there in a ditch, contemplating the Steak and Ale pie that........ 🤔 Having the dents knocked out of the MANGO ORANGE HANDBAG (But at least it hasn't got bl00dy clamshells! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 he had just sat on. As Ash Bailey from the Cinderford Tourist Association is always keen to point about, the town boast a smelly abbatoir. Stinky quickly wondered if he could try his luck with some sheep destined for the chop - or indeed chops. They must be so desperate they'll do anything he pondered. Quickly tucking his trouser leg back into his sock he......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 26, 2006 Author Share Posted July 26, 2006 .....reinforced the fact that Bailey was a total wet blanket wimpy skinny pooftah by using a paint can to spray graffiti to that effect on a bus stop before re arming his arse with a warm mushy mix of excrement and tepid liquid before firing it at full force from his 🙆🏻. Stinky made a movement.....The **** hit the fan.....and the bus stop, buildings, sheep, local market, church, primary and secondary schools, hospital, police station, fire brigade HQ - in fact everything within a 3 mile radius of his 🙆🏻 "Bu&&er" Stinky sighed just as........ Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 he spotted an offer of buy one get one free - on cabbage water in the Cinderford corner shop. Hmmm he thought, if I drink those I can.......... Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile7 Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 really go for trhe mother of all bottom burps. So Stinky 'coughing trousers' Dave opened the first bottle of cabbage water and slurped it down. "Yum" he mused, and went forth into the rest of the six pack.......... Dave Ardley. White Xflow with Clams ars est celare artem - That's why I have the Clams 😬 Updated photos here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CageyH Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 After getting halfway through the 5th bottle, he realised he had bitten off more than he could chew, and that feeling started to come over him again...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strongy Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 not wishing to embark on another inpromptu flight he bent down to remove his trouser legs from inside his socks........ Dry-sumped White Supersprint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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